Sunday, July 24, 2011

Report Card

She held the paper in her hands,
It was pristine, and smooth, and white,
On it was a tiny symbol,
A letter that brought the night

She glanced at it at first,
With unexpected shock
When the blow sank in and her heart slowed down
The earth began to rock
 
Nothing would be the same now,
She was stripped of her only pride
Crippled by her loss,
She shoved her Savior aside.
 
Letting the demons come to her,
Failure imprinted in her brain
She let them tell her she was nothing,
Her heart filled with disdain

Compared to all the others,
She let them contemplate her value,
But He stepped in before the wrong
And told her, “I still love you.”

The desperation that was crippling her,
The loneliness and anger, too
She told Him all about it,
He said “I have a plan for you.”
 
She wondered how it was fair
When others act the way they do
How can she be pleasing amidst this mess?
And He said, “I will judge, not you.”
 
She didn’t know if she could do it,
She thought she still might fail,
She didn’t want to ruin anymore,
He said, “Child, I always prevail.”

She held the paper in her hands,
The words now wrinkled, wet, and faded,
Jesus pulled her into His arms,
And told her how she will be graded.
 
You know I am your savior,
I’ve forgiven you of it all,
So, now, forgive those others,
And before God, you’ll stand tall.

Work hard and do your best,
But I’ll catch you if you fall
Give Me your burdens and regrets
And answer to My call
 
Love regardless of any circumstance,
And pray passionately at every thought
Express your feelings with great care,
And remember what you’re taught:

The grade is not what pleases Him,
It’s what lies in your heart,
Trust Him to deliver and define you
And He’ll surely declare you smart.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

F3 - Cycle 38 - Madness

~This week's prompt was to write a story involving madness in any form~
Because I Love You
Janie Fisher hurries to the door, only a little disappointed when it is, of course, her thirty-year old hare-brained brother, looking somewhat rugged in his hoodie and worn jeans. Who else would be visiting her? How can anyone else get to know her if she never leaves her house?
                “Janie!” He opens his arms wide, one holding a bag of takeout, “I’ve been trying to get over here for a couple of days, but it’s been so hard, you know how it is, it’s just…” His sentence peters off.
                Janie knows, and she doesn’t blame him. “It’s okay, Danny.” It is her own fault that her only acquaintance is a wild grown-up kid.
                “Oh, I love you, Janie, so understanding.” He comes forward and gives her a one armed hug. His bristly face brushes against hers, and he smells like car oil, just like always. She prays that this time the cars he is working on are legal.
                He walks past her into the house, tracking dirt, and she closes the door behind him, being sure to touch it equally with both hands.
                “Is that Chinese?” She asks hopefully as she follows Danny into the kitchen.
                “Yes it is sister of mine, only the best for my favorite person in the world.” He smiles goofily at her.
                She pours drinks for them both, five ice cubes in each drink, never six, and they sit down at her kitchen counter.
                “So, how’s work?” Janie asks, watching his face carefully.
                He only hesitates for a second. “It’s going good! You’ll be happy to know that everything I am doing is…” he searches for the appropriate word “prudent.” He chuckles.
                “It better be.”
                “Oh it is! It’s been going really well, I’ve been making quite a name for myself. You should come down to the shop, check it out.”
                She just looks at him, and he shrugs his shoulders.
                “I’m just sayin, is all, Sis. Your opinion means the most to me in this world, and I think it’s time you got out of the house, it’s cruel to deprive the world of such a beautiful face.”
                “What’s up with all the compliments?”
                “What do you mean? You’re my sister, you’re the only person I got in this world, and I simply think you’re wasting your life holed up in this place. I want more for you.”
                “Danny, come on.” He is really a horrible liar.
                “Look.” He sets his fork down and rubs his eyes. “Janie, the truth is…I did a bad deal a while back…some guys, at the shop, they covered it up, but you know how it is, they want retribution, paid off, and quite frankly I can’t afford it.”
                “Danny!” She is furious. “I cannot believe you! What was the deal? How much do they want? I…I don’t even know what to say!”
                “Say you’ll help me!” He is suddenly the desperate little kid she once knew as a child, her little brother, needing her to dig him out of his hole. Only now, she doesn’t know if she can jump out of hers to get to his.
                “How much money do you need? And why do you keep working for those guys when they treat you like this?”
                “I told you, I’ll get a new job as soon as I find one. Look, Janie, it was my last deal, I promise, I’ve been on the up-and-up for a while now, but I’ve got this thing from the past, coming back to haunt me.”
                “When did they tell you about this payment?”
                Danny looked at the floor. “About…I don’t know, it was like a couple weeks ago, maybe a month or two.”           
                Janie gasps. This is just like him.
                “I thought I had it all under control, I thought I could handle it, and I didn’t want to tell you if I didn’t have to because I knew you would worry.”
                “Worry!” She scoffs. ”When do they want it by?”
                “Friday morning.” He whispers.
                “Danny! It’s Wednesday!” She stands up, anger filling her.
                “I know! I know! At least I gave you enough time to go to the bank…”
                Go to the bank? Don’t be ridiculous, I’ll write you a check, how much do they want?”
                “Whatever you have stored up from your online writing job won’t be enough. I was wondering if you’d be willing to dip into your portion of the trust Mom and Dad left us.”
                She sucks in her breath and speaks quietly. “You have some nerve, little brother!” She's livid, knowing he already spent his on some crap investment. “How much do you owe?”
                “Thirty grand.”
                She sits down, stunned, not even bothering with her precautionary spin before collapsing onto the stool. “Well, I have it, and I give up. I’ll call the bank as soon as it opens tomorrow, but I want details.”
                “You know that won’t work, sis, they don’t do those kinds of things over the phone. They need you in person.”
                She grows sick at the thought. “I’ll call and allow you to withdraw as much as you need, it will be fine.”
                “Don’t be stupid, you’re smarter than this. You remember the negotiations. You need to be there in person. Please, Janie.” He looks ready to cry.
                “What will they do to you if you don’t get the money in time?”
                “Janie, I’m the only person who ever comes around here…you wouldn’t want me to no longer be able to, would you?”
                “Danny! I hate you! How could you do this to yourself? To me?”
                “I’m sorry. Look, Janie, I just need to pay them and then it’s over; I’ll be done with them forever.”
                “Danny…I...I can’t, you know I can’t.” She grips the counter, her knuckles turning white. She rolls her head in five even circles. “I can’t.”
                “You did for twenty six years! Please, Janie, I’m your brother!” He yells.
                She thinks for a moment, praying. “Okay.” Her voice shakes with the fierce beating of her heart.
                The next morning, Danny comes over to wait while Janie gets ready, unready, and ready again for almost six hours. After she vomits for the third time, he decides she needs some more prodding.
                “The bank’s gonna close, sis.” He says, gently. “We only have tonight, I need it by tomorrow. I’m right here, I love you, you can do this.”
                “I know. I’m ready.” She walks out for the umpteenth time, and approaches the front door. “I’m gonna do it. For you.”    
                She grabs the knob equally with both hands, and walks out the door for the first time in three years, physically fighting Danny all the way to his car. Once on the road, Danny wonders when he is going to tell her that, no, they don’t need to go to the bank, no, he hasn’t worked at that shop for over a year, and no, he has never done an illegal job in his entire career. She is smart, though, she will probably figure it out.
                “There, it’s not so bad right, Sis?” He looks at her.
                She grips his arm tightly and says nothing.
                “No,” Danny says, “No, it’s not so bad."