Thursday, June 30, 2011

F3-Cycle 37-Be Happy!

~Flash Fiction Friday prompt this week was to write a story that embodied happiness with a positive ending in less than 1000 words~

I Am If You Are
               The wait is excruciating. All he wants is to hear the double chime of the doorbell. Such promise the doorbell holds. It possesses the element of surprise like nothing else, in both that a young boy such as he never knows when it may sing its glorious song, or what the melody brings.
                Sometimes an unexpected visitor waits behind the door, anticipating the best way to keep the door from being shut in their face when they attempt to sell something to his Mom, or other times it’s a relative who “has got to be disgusted” by their messy house or who “should have called.” The best times, though, are when one of his friends comes to the door with their Mom or Dad. Then he and his friend can go play until the grown-ups are done talking, which usually takes a long time.
                Every once in a while, the doorbell won’t announce a person’s presence, but that of a package, like it will today. Today he is waiting for his package. His Mom told him it would come today, but his excitement started turning into wariness when the mail came without a brown bundle. He knows now that he must be waiting for the big brown truck, which is the best out of them all.
 The red, white, and blue truck, on the other hand, is usually no good. The most exciting thing it ever brings is birthday cards. No, usually the envelopes that come from that truck make Mom and Dad sigh and go off to talk about something important. The blue, orange, and white truck isn’t much to bother about either. Sometimes it will bring pictures to his Mom, or boring papers that his parents pour over for days at a time, but other than that, it doesn’t offer much.
It’s the brown truck that’s worth the most. The brown truck means that something good is in store. When the brown truck comes, the man always leaves a fun present. That’s the one that brings clothes to his Mom, books to his sister, and occasionally something special for him. Today is one of the days where the big brown truck will come lumbering down the street slowly, to drop off a big tan box just for him. Or so his Mom says. He’s been waiting so long, he’s not even sure anymore.
“Be good,” She says, “only good boys get packages.”
He’s been trying real hard to behave, but it’s so hard. All he wants is his package, and he knows that if he had it, he’d be able to be good, but now, every minute just gets harder. He doesn’t want to play quietly in his bedroom or watch another TV show. All he wants is his package.
Thinking, he goes and sits in the living room, staring at the front door, willing it to ring. When it doesn’t, his sister asks him to draw a picture, and his Mom wants to snuggle. This is crazy, he thinks. All this fuss when he needs to be waiting for his package. Nothing else is good enough right now.
Defeated, he wanders around the house with no real purpose. Maybe, he thinks, if he does something extra special, his package will hurry up. He runs to his room, inspired, and makes his bed perfectly. He stretches his quilt smooth, using his whole body to spread it out to eliminate the wrinkles his Mom doesn’t like. Excited, he runs back out to his Mom as soon as he finishes.
“Mommy, I made my bed, will my package come now?”
“I don’t know honey, you can go check.”
Yes! He thought. He’s been so good; it simply has to be here now. He goes out the front door and looks all around the front porch, scours the driveway, and even takes another look in the mailbox just to be sure the package man didn’t get confused. No package. He sighs, and deflated, walks back inside.
“No,” he tells his Mom. “It’s not here yet.”
Figuring he better try again, he picks up all of his toys from the living room with the help of his sister. He does a lot of the supervising while she does the majority of the manual labor. He has important waiting to do, anyway. Once they are done, he asks if his package has come.
“Not yet.” She said. “We’ll hear it when it does.”
He goes back into his bedroom. He doesn’t know how much more of this he can take. He can’t wait to tear open his package and see what is inside. He smiles just thinking about the sheer joy of it. His sister will surely be sad she doesn’t have a package of her own. She will just have to play with his toy with him.
             The door chimes when he’s in the middle of organizing his stuffed puppies. The butterflies in his stomach go insane as he dashes out to the front door. That’s when he sees the man walking back to the big brown truck. He loves that truck, and he watches as it pulls away, feeling his longing for it drifting away and being replaced with the new desire to open the perfect square package it left behind.
Finally, he thinks, the wait is over. He carries his package inside, chattering away to his Mom and his sister, excited beyond belief. Happiness engulfs him as his Mom brings out the scissors and begins to cut open the tape. Taking over, he rips open the rest and opens the flaps of the box. A huge grin lights up his face when he sees what is inside.
Finally, his Mom and sister think, the wait is over. The look on his face fills them with joy and his excitement over his new toy that he has been begging for endlessly for the past month leaves them elated. They couldn’t be happier. They love that big brown truck.

7 comments:

Barbara Bruederlin said...

What a charming story! You found the boy's voice very effectively for this. I liked all the rationale that he used to try to entice the brown truck to arrive. Nicely done.

Glen said...

Ah the joy of seeing that look on their faces - nice - happy - like it

Commander Zaius said...

Well done! I felt the humanity in the little boy wanting that truck to arrive. I saw a part of myself in the character. This was an excellent story!

Unknown said...

Sure could hear that truck coming a block away. Don't know what is is but it's going to be fun. Nicely done story Jenny.

Thomas Pluck said...

I think everyone ordering a package has some of that little boy in them... well done.

Unknown said...

Smashing read, Jenny! I LOVE this story!

You have given voice perfectly, to all who have ever waited for that big brown truck... the little blonde-haired boy in California, waiting for the new airplane model kit from his Uncle Bob... the dark-haired girl in St Louis, dancing with excitement for the new Barbies from her Aunt Sophie...

Oh, does that big brown truck bring back memories...

A beautifully written, captivating story... to remind us all of the child we once were... the child still inside us.

I love how you describe, through the eyes of a child, the different meanings of those postal/package delivery vehicles.

Very well crafted, Jenny.

Thank you for bringing a smile to this girl's face!

:=)

Anonymous said...

Thank you all for your comments. I wasn't sure about this one, but you made me feel really good about it (: